Reel Pride: Something for Everyone (1970)
A recurring trope within queer media is the duplicitous bisexual. This character can be a man or a woman, but usually they are dishonest and untrustworthy and can do anything to achieve what they set out to do. This often includes sleeping with whoever can help them, often with manipulation and deceit. This mirrors real world perceptions of bisexuality, which is often judged harshly for not fitting into the “gay/straight” binary. Characters who are bisexual are often opportunistic, using sex as a means to an end. Hal Prince’s 1970 drama Something for Everyone plays this trope pretty straight, and fascinatingly enough, directly confronting the stereotype in ways that modern films don’t. It’s quite a bizarre film—not quite a comedy but made with too light a touch to be a thriller.
Konrad (Michael York) visits an old castle in Bavaria from a childhood picturebook. He learns that the current occupant, Countess Herthe (Angela Lansbury), is too poor to open up the castle. Konrad tries to get a job there but is turned away because there isn’t enough money to support a new staff member. So he schemes his way into the castle, first by seducing Anneliese (Heidelind Weis), the daughter of a nouveau riche family and manipulating them to buy the castle. Then he seduces Herthe’s young son Helmut (Anthony Higgins) and convincing Herthe to arrange a marriage between Anneliese and Helmut so he can control both of them. As people become suspicious of Konrad, he disposes of them through deception and murder.
Konrad is introduced riding a bike, wearing very tight, very short shorts, reminding me of Armie Hammer in Call Me By Your Name. Michael York just projects a sexual assertiveness with his eyes and body language. With just a glance, he easily charms both Anneliese and Helmut, and other members of their families. At one point, as Konrad’s schemes start to come out, Helmut asks Konrad whether he’ll sleep with anyone to get what he wants. Konrad puts his arm around Helmut’s shoulders and replies, “Yes…but I have my preferences.” But even that sounds like a lie, a sweet manipulation to keep Helmut in his control.
Konrad is a textbook villainous bisexual, always telling lies and putting his own thirst for power ahead of compassion for others. Much is made in the film about old money versus new money. Herthe calls Konrad a new type of man, compared to her dying generation. The film suggests that the horny and scheming Konrad is replacing the old moneyed ways of the past. What fascinates me about this is that it presents this duplicity as a way of the future, a bittersweet acknowledgment that times are changing. Konra does break from patriarchy, of course by seducing another man and by plotting to replace new money. And the film doesn’t really suggest whether Konrad likes having sex with any of his conquests; he just wants money and power.
Something for Everyone is billed as black comedy, but it’s really not as witty as it should be. Michael York is really charming and dangerous; I know him primarily from Cabaret and Austin Powers and this was a really interesting role for him, with so much wheels turning behind his eyes. Angela Lansbury is, of course, the star of the show. Her prickly, compelling performance really elevates the film as she commands the screen every time she’s on it. Jane Carr has a supporting role as Helmut’s annoying, snooping sister and she’s quite entertaining. Hal Prince was theatre royalty, who had a hand in countless iconic Broadway productions. His direction in the film is light and sexy, with really nice costumes and production design. Something for Everyone is bizarre, but enjoyable for its sexual politics feeling dated but progressive for its time.
